I cannot hide my anger to spare you guilt, nor hurt feelings, nor answering anger; for to do so insults and trivializes all our efforts. Guilt is not a response to anger; it is a response to one’s own actions or lack of action. If it leads to change then it can be useful, since it is then no longer guilt but the beginning of knowledge. Yet all too often, guilt is just another name for impotence, for defensiveness destructive of communication; it becomes a device to protect ignorance and the continuation of things the way they are, the ultimate protection for changelessness.
– Audre Lorde
When white people ask me what to do about racism and white fragility, the first thing I ask is, “What has enabled you to be a full, educated, professional adult and not know what to do about racism?” If we take the question seriously and map out all the ways we have come to not know what to do, we will have our guide before us.
– Robin DiAngelo
Reading Overview
This Week’s Reading
Chapter 12 (pages 139 – 154)
Reading Summary
Chapter 12
In conclusion, while the emotions, behaviors, claims, and underlying assumptions associated with white fragility are always in play, a transformed paradigm could develop different feelings and accelerate one’s lifelong journey of addressing unconscious racial bias. If feedback on racist patterns was met with gratitude, motivation, or humility, possible behaviors that would manifest could be reflection, engagement, and understanding. Going forward it is important to continue to seek out more information, demand that information on white fragility is taught in schools, and build authentic cross-racial relationships. Finally, interrupting racism takes courage and intentionality. We will never interrupt it if we remain comfortable.
Optional pre-reading question:
Reflect on this quote from the book: “When white people ask me what to do about racism and white fragility, the first thing I ask is, ‘What has enabled you to be a full, educated, professional adult and not know what to do about racism?’” (p. 144)
Discussion (~40 min)
Robin DiAngelo writes that it isn't enough for white people to be nice and that, in fact, racism depends on white people simply being nice. How does niceness alone uphold the racial status quo?
Very little if anything in society at large supports us to persist in the work of anti-racism. In fact, much pressures us not to continue the work. Because of this, we need to set up support for ourselves to continue. How will you set up support for yourself to stay on the journey? How will you resist complacency?
Completion questions:
What was life-affirming about being part of this group?
What was challenging?
What do you need to express to feel complete?
It is ok to spend time on one or two questions, don’t expect to make it through all of them, but please do spend 15 or 20 minutes on the completion questions so that everyone leaves feeling seen, heard, and with a sense of belonging.
